4 sloppy speech habits that undermine your influence

4 sloppy speech habits that undermine your influence4 sloppy speech habits that undermine your influenceAt what point would you stop listening to aspeakerwho opens with So, OK, I wanted to just briefly, you know, give you an overview, I think Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreThis is how Ian, a director at a scientificresearchinstitute, recently started one of ourcoaching sessions. (Im changing any identifying information to protect client confidentiality.)As you might guess, people tune Ian out because his speech is littered with meaningless fillers. Worse, they frequently interrupt him because they worry hell waste their time.Even though Ian is brilliant, visionary, and prolific in his research, he struggles to earn respect as a leader. Team members often emerge from meetings with him confused and unsure of what he wanted.Increase your own clarity and look more like a leader by eliminating these four influence killers in your own speech1.Saying so when you begin speakingIts a little word with a big impact. When you start with so, youre tentatively asking for permission to be heard. Its the metaphorical equivalent of raising your hand.Eliminate your so startersSay a persons name instead.When directly addressing one person, instead of saying So zu siches an overview, say Jamie, heres an overview.Address the entire audience.When youre addressing a group, you might say something like, Thank you all for your comments in preparation for this meeting.Pause before speaking.Breathe, and then begin intentionally. Youll look thoughtful and grounded.Prepare your first sentence ahead of time.For example, you could state the purpose of the meeting, Our purpose today is to ensure the overview matches the goals we set out to achieve.2. Using filler wordsWords such as you know, kind of, um, ah, and er are fillers because they dont convey meaning. fruchtwein people have emb edded their favorite filler word or phrase so deeply into their speech that they dont notice it anymore.While the occasional filler word is unavoidable (and maybe a sign youre speaking conscientiously), an abundance of them give the impression youre uncertain.Trash the fillersAnalyze your speech.With permission from the other person, record a conversation. When you play back the recording, count how many fillers you used, noting each type. Do you use fillers throughout your speech or only in particular places? Knowing when you use them can help you understand why you use them.Create an antidote.Depending on when you use fillers, you might have different antidotes. For instance, if you use ums instead of periods at the end of each sentence, visualize the period at the end of the sentence and consciously take a breath instead.Eliminate one at a time.If you have a diverse vocabulary of fillers, trash one filler at a time. Paying attention to too many will distract and frustrate you.Ask a friend for help.Ask a trusted colleague to cue you when they notice you using your favorite filler.Playback your conversations.Keep recording your conversations and notice any progress. With regular listening, youll be able to anticipate when youre about to filler-ize your sentence and stop yourself.Gmail users can try theJust Not Sorry add-onto eliminate fillers in their emails.3.Asking permissionWhen you say I want to or Id like to, you may come across as diffident, and listeners may become impatient for what you actually want to say.Dont say, I want to show you a chart with our competitive analysis. You can simply say, Heres a chart with our competitive analysis.Be stingy with your wantsDistinguish between a want and a votum.I want to sleep now. Would you please turn down the TV? is a want. Heres our competitive analysis is a statement.4.Using I think as a qualifierWhen you frequently use I think, you sound unsurelike youre trying to establish your competence.Jackie (not her r eal name) is a general manager at an IT company and another one of my coaching clients. Two months ago, her manager told her she needed to be more assertive. She started using I think frequently because she believed this phrase asserted her point of view more forcefully. In fact, it made her appear less confident.James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at UT Austin, who studies how we speak, shows inhis researchthat frequent use of the word I lowers a persons perceived status.Reduce your I think countState your opinion.Your audience will assume that what youre saying is based on what you think.End with assurance.Qualifying your statement at the end will equally undermine its credibility.Clean speech isnt window dressing its a powerful leadership tool for being heard, influencing others, and, ultimately, getting what you want.This article first appeared on Leaderly .You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people